idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
