i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
