well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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