I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
