ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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