We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
