Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
