Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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