Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize