saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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