Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize