And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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