I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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