yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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