Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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