If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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