Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Found the puke drawer
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
