Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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