Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
