yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
