Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wear drunk well.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
