come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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