it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was like his penis was on wheels.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
