She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize