I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
