My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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