too bad you live with your parents still
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
