Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We need to get me chipped asap
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
