we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
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