So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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