it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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