The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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