bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
