Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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