I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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