dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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