he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
