You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
