My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
