we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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