So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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