i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
