u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
