Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize