She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize