Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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