YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
