found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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