Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
