Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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