He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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