Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
