i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
