i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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