do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize