There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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