Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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