So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
