omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize