Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
