addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
