it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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