using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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