I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
