I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
