I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
