I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
