People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
