That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
